By: Madison Willis 20′
Relationships. You know, the romantic kind. The kind that gets plastered all across TV shows and movies with their over exaggerated plots and manufactured intimacy’s. These Rom-Com-esque relationships don’t even begin to scratch the surface of a real life interaction. These movies are generally marketed to young women, and as a 19 year-old women, this is very upsetting to me. Not only do these movies idealize romance, but they trick us into thinking that perfection is what we want out of a relationship.
All the “Notebook”s and the “Pretty in Pink”s, simplify something that is actually extremely complicated. They mask over the nuances and tedious routines that go into a healthy modern relationship. Before we are even old enough to know what sex is, we assume we already know everything about what a romantic relationship “should” be.
The girl must be flirty, but not too available. The guy must be sensitive enough to present some sort of large romantic gesture, but somehow still be mysterious. The guy must be charming, funny and spontaneous, but still assertive. The girl must be coy, confident and independent, but also dependent on a man.
These characteristics are far fetched at best, and even if you are all of those things, that does not guarantee that you will meet the person of your dreams and instantly fall in love. In reality, you could be perfect for someone but they might not be perfect for you. You may be absolutely compatible with a person but they could be married with children, or half-way across the world.
Not only do these movies perpetuate an impossible goal for the quality of a relationship, but they formulate an impossible mold for which we place ourselves in. This mold can do more harm than good, according to the Huffington post; this society is so confused about how to create and maintain good relationships, that movies give us false hope to believe that love will work out for us just because we want it to.
This delusion makes us believe that there is one true person out there that is perfect for us, leading us to be unsatisfied with our already satisfactory relationships.
This ideal has gotten so out of hand, that according to Times magazine, some people think that if their partner truly loved them, they’d know what they’d need without them even communicating it.
My issue here, is not on people watching romantic movies, it is on our constant need for our relationships to be like the movies. More and more I see people wanting a Ryan Gosling to pop up at their door step and treat them with flowers. Don’t get me wrong, I love flowers and I think it is a nice gesture, but we as a society are setting ourselves up for failure and heartbreak with these impossible expectations of relationships.
We need to stop expecting “the one” to magically come to us, and start seeing the one that might already be in front of us. They won’t be perfect, but they will be real, and i’d rather take a broken but interesting person, over a cookie cutter fabrication any day.
Because “perfect” is just a fantasy.